Diary of a Dog: Milton

Photos by Robb Most

You know how some dogs have such an amazing sense of direction that they can find their way home, even if they get lost hundreds of miles away? When they show up months later, people say, “What a smart dog!” I, too, have an incredible mental map of my own, but I credit my stomach more than my brain. Without fail, I can guide my human family (whether they like it or not) to the most delicious locations in Menlo Park and Palo Alto. That nice house with the dog treats near Draeger’s Market? Check. The Ace Hardware in Palo Alto that thoughtfully provides fallen popcorn? Check. And my favorite place of all, Mademoiselle Colette, which has the most scrumptious croissants? Check. I like to start my food-finding missions early. My humans don’t need to bother with annoying alarms, because I helpfully bop them on the head with my paw well ahead of time, to let them know the sun is up and I’m ready to scour the streets for yummy treats. You might even call me a connoisseur, although I am not so snooty that I won’t help clean the floor beneath my baby brother when he eats. Anything for family!

Calling All Dogs: If you've got quirky habits or a funny tale (or tail) to share, email your story to hello@punchmonthly.com for a chance to share a page from your Diary of a Dog in PUNCH.